Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

by Steve Habrat

With 2004’s Hellboy turning out to be a modest success, Guillermo del Toro was allowed to let a myriad of head spinning monsters out of his imagination in 2008’s Hellboy II: The Golden Army, a bigger, wilder, and groovier monster movie romp than his predecessor. Loaded with tons more ghouls to roam around, The Golden Army is shoulder to shoulder with some of the most exhaustive make-up effects put on film in the past several years. It helps that del Toro shifts from Revolution Studios to Universal Studios, home of the original monster movie, to really make the ultimate tribute to the classic Universal monsters of the 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s. The Golden Army also finds more enthusiastic devotion from Ron Pearlman, who seems like he was chomping at the bit to get covered in red make-up and have two filed down horns slapped on his forehead. Tapping into the reckless ennui that he so wonderfully applied in Hellboy, The Golden Army finds our big red hero dealing with relationship problems, pent up longing to interact with the outside world, fatherhood (!) and that nagging problem of having to save the world. Again. It’s all in a day’s work for Hellboy, the beer sipping, cat loving man-child.

The Golden Army begins with Hellboy’s (Played by Pearlman) relationship with pyrokinetic Liz Sherman (Played by Selma Blair) on the rocks. She exclaims that she can no longer stand living in Hellboy’s pigsty and that she needs some space. Hellboy confides in his best buddy Abe Sapien (Played by Doug Jones), the geeky psychic amphibious humanoid who always acts as the voice of reason for Red. To make things worse, Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense Agent Tom Manning (Played by Jeffrey Tambor) is steaming mad at Hellboy for continuing to reveal himself to the public, despite the fact that the B.P.R.D is supposed to be kept a secret. After being called to investigate strange events at an auction house, Hellboy finds the perfect opportunity to reveal himself to the world and make it look like an accident. Hellboy isn’t welcomed into the world with open arms, many people taunting him for his striking appearance but that is the least of Hellboy’s problems. Agent Manning brings in a new authority figure by the name of Johann Krauss (Played by James Dodd and voice by Seth MacFarlane), a figure that wears a containment suit shaped like a human but that holds in pure ectoplasmic energy. Hellboy, Liz, and Abe begin rebelling against Johann but it is soon discovered that a mythical realm has declared war on the humans and that they plan to unleash the Golden Army, an invincible force that would destroy the human race.

Much like Hellboy, The Golden Army runs smoother when del Toro aims his camera at the sheltered trio of crime fighters who long for human interaction. It finds Hellboy staring down fatherhood, but it is hard to see the guy as a papa when he downs six packs of Tecate and stumbles around with Abe as they gripe about girls. The best moment of The Golden Army comes when Abe drunkenly spills his feelings about a girl that the trio is supposed by protecting. You’ll crack up when the duo begins slurring through love songs played at full blast. It is a delight to see the group bring their problems to work, all of them complaining on the job to each other but banding together when the bad monsters come out to play. The Golden Army also deals with the trio trying to fit in with the average citizens of New York City. They are teased on the street about their freakish appearances, something that really irks the testy Hellboy who responds with, “I know I’m ugly!” You’ll feel for the big red ape, especially when Hellboy saves a baby from a giant monstrosity and the mother rips the baby away from Hellboy in horror, something that really pierces the big guy’s heart.

The Golden Army would be nothing without Pearlman, Blair, and Jones, all who get their moment to really push their characters along. Pearlman is an absolute delight as Hellboy and I can honestly say I’d watch twenty Hellboy movies if he were in every one. Watching him try to mature and cater to Liz is hysterical, especially when he finds her toothbrush in a tin of cat food. Pearlman’s enjoyment with the roll is incredibly contagious and we find ourselves having just as much fun as he is. Blair perks up a bit here as Liz, but she is still the goth girl hero in combat boots that we came to adore the first time around. It is good to see her sulking about a troubled relationship and a secret she is desperately trying to hide from Red. Then there is Jones as Abe, who gets a tongue-tying crush of his own—one that he begins to realize will not end happily ever after. Then there is James Dodd and Seth MacFarlane’s Johann, a prickly voice of authority that successfully stands up to the boorish Hellboy. As far as the villains go, Hellboy finds himself battling against the fed up Prince Nuada (Played by Luke Goss) and his timid twin sister Princess Nuala (Played by Anna Walton). The elfish Nuada never really becomes an intimidating force to reckon with, the only catch being that if you harm Nuada, you can also harm Nuala. This puts the group at odds, especially when Abe develops feeling for the gentle Nuala. This is where The Golden Army flat lines, the lack of a truly compelling villain to really curl your toes. Luckily, that is why all those spine-tingling monsters are here!

Being a superhero movie, The Golden Army is filled out with plenty of action and adventure. A showdown in the streets between Hellboy and a giant forest god is beautiful and adrenaline pumping. Another battle between Hellboy and Nuada’s grotesque bodyguard Mr. Wink is also a standout. Del Toro ends his film in a grand, epic fashion by pitting the group against the marching Golden Army, the best fight scene of the entire film. While the film’s plotline may begin to creak and crack under the style that it is trying so desperately to hold up, the style practically superglues and staples your eyes to the screen. It makes you long for more movies from del Toro, ones where he can have all the artistic freedom he wants. Also, if Universal plans on remaking anymore of their classic monster movies, I think it would be wise to hand the project over to this guy. Still, I wish del Toro would have developed the underlying message of nature and man living in harmony a bit more than he does but this is a summer blockbuster and I’m sure there was a push for more eye candy and action. It just so happens that del Toro excels at eye candy as Hellboy II: The Golden Army has some of the tastiest eye candy around. Here’s to more monster movies in del Toro’s future!

Grade: A-

Hellboy II: The Golden Army is available on Blu-ray and DVD.